Self-doubting ourselves is a universal experience that can affect all of us at some point in our lives. These fears can hold us back, limit our potential and sometimes even stop us from pursuing our dreams or simply enjoying daily life. The nature of fear varies from person to person; what might be a terrifying nightmare for one could be a minor concern for another. In her influential book, “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway”, American Psychologist and author Susan Jeffers provides insights into understanding and overcoming fear.
Jeffers explains that the inability to deal with fear often feels like a psychological problem, but in most cases, it is not. She believes that fear is actually an educational problem. By re-educating our minds, we can learn to perceive and accept our fears as a simple life fact rather than an insurmountable barrier to our success and happiness.
According to Jeffers, fear is an inherent part of the human condition and is here to stay. Therefore, she suggests, that we only have two choices: we can run from it, or we can face it head-on. Running from fear most likely will keep us stuck in the same situation, whereas if we decide to face our fear, we might find we are happily surprised that we have underestimated ourselves and we actually have the resources and inner abilities to push pass the fear and achieve our goals. By confronting fear, we can achieve our goals, which in turn improves our self-worth and self-esteem. This newfound confidence helps us tackle future fears more effectively.
Jeffers emphasizes that facing our fears is often easier than living with the helplessness and self-doubt that comes from avoiding them. By confronting fear, we can break free from its paralysing grip and open ourselves to growth and new opportunities.
Once we understand how fear works, it is essential to learn strategies to overcome the feeling of being stuck. Jeffers suggests several practical approaches:
Shifting from pain to power; pain creates feelings of helplessness, depression, and paralysis. In contrast, power includes feelings of choice, energy and action. By moving from pain to power, fear can lose its hold on us.
Taking responsibility; Instead of perceiving ourselves as victims, we should take responsibility for our actions and monitor our responses. This shift can empower us to take control of our lives.
Practicing positive thinking; cultivating a positive mindset helps us to challenge and change our negative thought patterns, making it easier to face fears.
Changing relationships; it is important to be aware of relationships that keep us stuck and to cultivate those that support our personal growth.
Jeffers encapsulates her philosophy with this powerful statement:
“The real issue has nothing to do with the fear itself, but, rather, how we hold the fear.”
By changing our relationship with fear and employing these strategies, we can transform our lives, achieving personal growth and fulfillment.
Further reading “Jeffers, S. (2007). Feel the fear and do it anyway. Vermillion -London.”
We respectfully acknowledge the Traditional Owners of the lands on which Better Together Community Support operates, being Tablelands Yidinji, Dulabed Malanbarra, Mamu, Jirrbal, Ngadjon-jii, Bar-Barrum, Warrungnu, Ewamian, Tagalaka and Koko Muluridji. We recognise the continuing connection to land, waters, cultures and kin that our Traditional Owners uphold. We pay our respect to Elders past and present, who give us strength, inspiration and guidance to deliver great outcomes for all Tablelanders.
