May is Domestic and Family Violence Prevention Month, which is a perfect time to raise awareness not only about physical abuse, but also about the more insidious, invisible forms of harm, such as coercive control.

Coercive control is a pattern of controlling behaviours designed to dominate, intimidate and isolate a partner. It might involve monitoring phone calls, restricting access to money, dictating where someone can go or who they can see, or using threats and humiliation to maintain power. Over time, this subtle, but persistent abuse chips away at a person’s autonomy, identity and mental wellbeing.

The psychological effects can be long-lasting and severe. Victims often live in a constant state of anxiety, hypervigilance and fear. Many can experience depression, low self-esteem and difficulty trusting others. A particularly cruel tactic often used is gaslighting—manipulating someone into doubting their own memory, feelings or perceptions. Victims may begin to question their sanity and lose confidence in their ability to make decisions.

Unlike physical violence, coercive control doesn’t leave bruises or scars, but it can be just as damaging. In fact, coercive control is often a precursor to physical violence, which is why it is now legally recognised as a form of domestic abuse in many parts of Australia—and as of May 26, it has been criminalised in Queensland.

One of the most heartbreaking effects is the isolation victims often experience. Coercive partners may deliberately cut them off from friends, family or workplaces, leaving them feeling alone and trapped. This makes it even harder to seek help or imagine a way out.

But there is hope. With the right support, recovery is possible. Victims can rebuild their confidence, regain their independence and reconnect with the world around them. Services like 1800RESPECT, DV Connect – men’s and women’s line, and the Women’s Centre can offer confidential help, guidance and safety planning.

This May let’s educate ourselves about coercive control and its warning signs. Let’s talk about it openly, support survivors and advocate for systems that protect them.

Everyone deserves to feel safe, valued and free in their relationships. By breaking the silence around coercive control, we take a powerful step toward ending the cycle of abuse.

The information provided is from Better Together Community Support. This advice may not suit your personal situation and therefore cannot substitute real psychological advice please consult a professional if this has raised issues for you.